Good evening guys,
I thought I finally made a blogpost long distance relationships.
As most of you know, my boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for almost 1 ½ years now. We have been in this relationship for over two years now and both knew from the beginning on that we would have to be long distance after the first year of relationship.
This is not my first long distance relationship, which means I am also an example that these kind of relationships can not always turn out the way you would like to. But I am trying to write down my ultimate tips when it comes to LDR. I am not saying I am an expert, I just want to share my knowledge with you guys. 🙂
“They must not realize that a relationship is not meant to be people dependent on one another and instead it should be two people who are complete in their own lives sharing it with each other.”
Oh wow, I cannot stress this one enough. Independence in a relationship is important and especially being LDR you will notice that you need to have your own life. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean you guys need to exist as one person. It is simply a relationship between two people enjoying to share a piece of their own life together.
Go do your own thing, meet your friends and have a hobby that is all yours. Having separate interests, friends and being passionate about different things is so important. Not only can you guys beexcited for one another, but you also have something to tell each other at the end of the day. LDR can only work when you simply live your own life. Else you will be waiting and sitting around for someone that is living their life thousands of miles away.
2. Set up small goals together – to meet the big ones for the future
“Love cannot be measured by how long you wait, its about how well you understand why you are waiting”
In my first LDR, there was no goal in sight. None of us was planning to move or marry each other, or have any idea how this whole LDR should work. This was a sign for me, that we did not see any future together, instead, we were just focused on our individual futures without another. And as life went on, I am incredible thankful we let each other go to pursue our own dreams and goals.
It taught me the importance of setting goals in the relationship. One of our goals is to visit each other at least once in two months. In the beginning of our LDR we even managed to see each other every 3-4 weeks (Netherlands to and from the South of France). We would have phone calls and check our schedules and decide if the flights or car rides were feasible for us to visit one another. As soon as these visits were set, we had small goals in sight to see each other again and make plans.
And while keeping these little goals in sight, we decide to talk about our bigger goals more often. Whatever duration your LDR is, if it’s only a couple of weeks, months or years – the long distance will end at some point and you guys need to be prepared for it.
Recently one of our bigger goals are becoming reality. In about two weeks I will be able to share with you guys the good news. 🙂
3. Give each other space
“Give people time. Give people space. Dont beg anyone to stay. Let them roam. Whats mean for you will always be yours.” – Reyna Biddy
This probably sounds weird, but yes even though you guys are LDR it doesn’t mean you need to call or text every other minute. Not only does this get old fast, but it doesn’t let you live your own life at all. Giving each other space, gives you the opportunity to miss each other and be excited to call or text in the end of the day. It will be exciting to talk to each other and tell them how your day went, and you will be excited to hear about their day. Make every conversation you have something special and exciting.
You do not want to sit at work all day staring at your phone and waiting till your partner text or calls you back. Go life your life girl and tell him about it later.
4. Surprise each other
“Love is full of surprises.”
Nothing beats the feeling of surprising your S/O. My boyfriend and I try this constantly and these are probably one of my favorite moments.
One of these moments happened last summer. He left for his semester abroad in the South of France. While making me believe he was watching a horror movie with his new made friends there, he drove more than 12 hours to come back and surprised me for my Dutch University ceremony. Not only did he show up unexpectedly, he was also all suit up and with flowers in his hand. This is the same man that told me that he would never buy flowers since they’re just a dying gift to throw away. So I basically got surprised twice that day.
It doesn’t have to be something big and this is just one of my favorite examples. Giving something small like a love letter or a Love E-Mail that your significant other wouldn’t expect, can make their whole day. Groupon offers the possibility to buy vouchers for other people which then will be send to their E-Mail address. What about a Spa day for your love?
5. Make plans together – and get excited!
“Distance teaches us to appreciate the days that we are able to spend together and distance teaches us the definition of patience. It is a reminder that every moment together is special, and every second together should be cherished.”
The moment you got your plane ticket, it is time for you to count the days! I LOVE planning my days when I see him again. We usually travel somewhere when we see each other again or plan on exploring the areas around our towns and do something special.
Nonetheless, make every visit as special as you guys want – do what makes you happy. It is so exciting to come up with ideas together before you see each other again.